Thursday, January 19, 2006

You Know Your President is a Lunatic When...

...Osama Bin Laden starts to sound sane and reasonable.

Aljazeera today ran new video of Bin Laden offering a truce between his people and the American people. The guts of his speech:
"We know that the majority of your people want this war to end and opinion polls show the Americans don't want to fight the Muslims on Muslim land, nor do they want Muslims to fight them on their (US) land...But Bush does not want this and claims that it's better to fight his enemies on their land rather than on American land...We are getting increasingly stronger while your situation is getting from bad to worse...we do not mind offering a long-term truce based on just conditions that we will stick to...There is no problem in this solution [a truce], but it will prevent hundreds of billions [of dollars] from going to influential people and warlords in America - those who supported Bush's electoral campaign - and from this, we can understand Bush and his gang's insistence on continuing the war."
He says things Bush would never fess up to, but everyone already knows, except the 5% of crazy neo conservatives, and he's offering peace (sort of.) I don't know if Osama Bin Laden can be trusted, but after five straight years of Bush's lies and conspiracy, I'm almost willing to give him a try.

Bin Laden's only real offense is killing thousands of Americans and blowing up some embassies, and there are probably billions of people around the world who would kill Americans if they thought they could get away with it. Everybody hates Americans, it's part and parcel of not being an American. We've got Paris Hilton, after all. She's the modern Marie Antoinette, except dumber, less refined, and even less caring. She represents so much that is wrong with America, and that's what people see in all Americans, Paris Hilton.

Don't get me wrong, though. Radical Islam can eat shit. We might be able to get along peacefully, but as soon as you try to put a burqa on my mom and my sister, things are going to get ugly fast.

I think Bush should accept the truce, duck out of Iraq and draw down in Afghanistan, and take his chances. But Bush would never allow a truce. Warfare is the only thing keeping his polls from sinking to record lows. He's a cowboy, a soldier, a patriot, and these colors don't run, etc. He promised the American people that Bin Laden would be brought to justice, and even though he got sidetracked invading Iraq and wrecking the whole planet, he can't back down now or everybody will call him a pussy, especially me.

Late update: To nobody's surprise, Cheney came forward immediately to denounce Bin Laden's "truce" offering. He continues to claim it possible to kill all enemy combatants of the United States. Even if he did manage to kill the two or three or four billion people who now hate America, he would piss off all the rest in the process. If he kept at it, the only person left alive would be Dick Cheney. Then all that rich chocolatey oil could finally be his!


At 1:25 PM, Anonymous Karine said...

I don't know if I agree with you but you definitly made a point. I'll have to think about this.


Post a Comment

<< Home