Monday, January 02, 2006

Joke Theory: Complementary Essence

In physics it is Newton's Third Law. In philosophy it is the Hegelian dialectic. In religion it is the yin-yang. And henceforth, because I invented it and am a genius, in comedy it will be referred to as the Wilsonian Theory of Complementary Essence.

The theory:
For every entity or force in the universe, there exists at least one complementary entity or force whose essence is everything the other is not, which thereby maintains balance and unity.

As mankind's foremost thinker in the realm of humor and everything else, this theory first revealed itself when I was searching for some clever way to counter 50 Cent. The rap artist and film star is currently one of the most powerful forces in the American pop cultural landscape, and is himself a walking caricature of black America. I sought to find a brief idea that somehow revealed how 50 Cent fits into the universe without also destroying it. My first idea was:

50 Cent Wearing Women's Clothing

While the idea of 50 Cent in women's clothing might be amusing to my homophobic, racist grandmother, it in no way holds the power to turn 50 Cent into a real joke. He is still 50 Cent. My second idea:

50 Cent Has a Vagina

This is closer to the truth, as it strips 50 Cent of one of his fundamentals, his masculinity. Still, however, the essence of 50 Cent survives. Even with a vagina, he can remain a powerful force in the universe. That is, until my third idea:

50 Cent Shoots Rainbows Out of His Vagina

In this case, the vagina is merely the conduit between 50 Cent and rainbows. The concept of rainbows is, I believe, a powerful enough thing to balance out the concept of 50 Cent. It is the Yin to 50 Cent's Yang.

50 Cent (Yang): Aggressivenes, Attitude, Stupidity, Violence, Raging homophobia, In-Yo-Face-Ism
Rainbows (Yin): Passiveness, Introspection, Enlightenment, Peace, Homos

(I may have my rainbows mixed up, however. The yin to 50 Cent's yang might be this rainbow.)

The complementary essence, I believe, exists in all things, and everything may have multiple complementary essences. It does not hold the power to destroy, like a positron to an electron, but the power to counterbalance and harmonize, like a proton to an electron. It is left to us, the supergenius humorists (only me), to discover the complementary essences in all things, and one day map the sum total essence of all the universe. (In theory, all essences offset to zero, except for me, because I'm so awesome.)

Tomorrow: The Tao of Parody


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