Tuesday, January 31, 2006

20 Years Later, White Lion Fails to Change the World

Little child you must show the way
to a better day for all the young
cause you were born for all the world to see
that we all can live with love and peace
no more presidents and all the wars will end
one united world under god

When the children cry
let them know we tried
cause when the children sing
then the new world begins

--White Lion, When the Children Cry (1987)

It has been nearly 20 years since the world first heard these mighty words from White Lion's epic When the Children Cry. The song, considered by many to be worthy of inclusion among the greatest sequels to monster ballad collections ever sold on late-night television, still resonates steadily with five or six hair metal fans, despite the end of the cold war, and the complete eradication of poverty and homelessness. The music video, too, contained much grimacing and very very seriously longing stares into the camera, as well as video shots of some children crying.

But has White Lion's softball metal ballad made any real difference in the world? The children for whom they once sang are now adults; have these children grown up to show the way to a better day, as White Lion hoped they would? It is true that poverty and homelessness have been eradicated in wealthy gated communities like mine, but it is still widespread everywhere else. War still rages endlessly, there are still presidents, and millions of children still go hungry every day around the world. We can only assume that this makes them cry. I say "assume" because whenever they show it on television we change the channel to MTV's new reality show, "Pimp My Whores."

It is clear that White Lion's pussyfaced dragfest love-in has failed in its mission to rid the world of its ills, and I believe it is time for the American people to hold them accountable for this gross misrepresentation, just as we hold crack addicts accountable for exaggerating how many days they spent in jail. That means somebody has to die, and I hope it's Joseph Lieberman because I hate that asshole.

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