The State of Humor - Unfunny Animals
As America's top supergenius and foremost humorist, it is my duty to report to my unfunny readers on what is and is not funny.
Today I look at animals. Animals are often used to create quick, inexpensive, passing jokes. Unfortunately, amateur humorists (and sadly, many professionals) continue to utilize outdated and overused animal types in their work, believing them still to be funny. Emus, wombats, and yaks top the list of animals that long ago stopped being funny.
But no animal can compete with the king of the "funny" animals, the monkey. No animal in history, save for perhaps the yellow-bellied sapsucker, has been so overplayed in popular culture. While their similarity and relationship to humans make them an easy target, the result of this overexposure is that monkeys are now not only unfunny, they are as depressing as yaks, and in the case of many varieties of monkey, are near extinction, like the yellow-bellied sapsucker.
To combat this, I have prepared three lists: the first contains animals that once were, but no longer are, funny; the second contains animals that are almost NEVER funny; the third contains animals that, based on my superior intellect, I deem to be currently funny. Henceforth please use animals from the third list, not the first two, when trying to be clever and amusing, otherwise you'll look like a stupid goat.
|Not Funny||Never Funny||Funny|
[Late update 2: "Sea monkeys" added to unfunny list]